Advise from Big Sister !

Advise from Big Sister

How to tackle negativity:

People come and go in our lives and there are in them people who are always what we call "complaint box". They poison your mind with their pessimistic perspectives and they think they are being 'realistic'. There is a fine line between being realistic and pessimistic. We have to know where to draw the line. Pessimistic people are simply toxic and last thing we need in our life is someone to make us feel worse about it. Relax! Don't worry about those people. If they approach you , you can either act like you are listening or tell them that life has a lot to offer and you appreciate where it has gotten you so far. 

We are your second moms : 

We have maternal instincts. We KNOW when you are sad or happy. You can share with us. We are here to advise you without judging you. Just remember if someone hurts you, we turn into "mama lions". We don't show that all the time but we are observing. We are observing a lot and we react if need be. We will be proud of you and at the same time force you to swallow your pride before you hurt yourself. 

Fight battles worth Fighting: 

In all honesty, this is the hardest lesson to learn. We all often end up fighting over things that can be resolved by compromise or just contemplating. 

How to select friends CAREFULLY: 

Women are like surveillance camera. Always watching and observing . They keep their guard up till they find someone worth their time. Not all but large fraction are very protective of themselves. Big sisters comprise of all these characteristics but that doesn't guarantee that we are perfect. We also make mistakes judging people and that teaches our little siblings on whom to and whom to not make friends with. It is okay to have few friends who are trustworthy and loyal than 1000  fair weather acquaintances. I don't mean to get religious but even Bible mentions an excerpt on how to be selective in making friends that I learned during family prayers. 

Get away with Trouble or Avoid Parental Reprimand:

Big sisters are like shields during war between mom and dad. Either we sacrifice ourselves or we humbly ask you to listen to us so that you can avoid getting in trouble with mom and dad. We big sisters have been there and done that when it comes to mischief. We have also gotten in trouble for it.When we tell you to take our advise, we actually mean business. We don't want you to get into trouble. 

We are your Incident Response Team:

Got any issues you want to talk? Worried about getting in trouble? Are you already in trouble? We will spice it up and let mom or dad know. We are mediators and we hope to reduce the amount of conflict in the house by suggesting time out for every one at home. Adults also need time. Parents also need time out. Parents aren't wrong but that is best way to let you think about what you did and regret it later. We are the type of incident response people who try to avoid the incident in general. It may not be possible but we can try to pacify situation before the situation becomes worse. 

During my service to Everbank, I had attended a course that I suggest you all should attend: Crucial Conversation. It is a course that helps you tackle difficult situations and discussions. The coach presents scenarios and gives possible methods of resolving. Interactive exercises will help you try resolving hypothetical situations on your own. I have that course to thank. 

We keep you grounded:

We all have that moment of pride but having too much can hurt our sense of humanity. We forget where we came from. We keep you grounded so that even though internally we are very proud of what you have done, we can't let you experience hubris. Although this highly depends between siblings and types of families but I as the elder sister try my best to. I know my brother is a well-rounded person but I don't want him to hurt others and I know he wouldn't :).

Your Personal Aide:

We are your security guards, second moms, your personal chefs, your calendars [ to remind birthdays and anniversaries] , secretaries and the list goes on. We don't want to take credit for it but we just want to assure you that we are there for you rain or shine. We are never busy for our little siblings. We are trained by our parents at that. We act all busy but you need us, we are 24/7 at your service. We always put you ahead of our needs because we love having someone to take care of and be protective of.  Your achievement means a lot to us and we feel like we could hold a banner for it. Oh ya! So we are your cheerleaders too. You can count on us!

Life of a big sister can be challenging irrespective of the gender of the younger siblings but it certainly comes with its rewards. It makes us stronger and more sensible. I miss you bro!