Life Teaches the Best Lessons

Life Teaches The Best Lessons

1. Life Happens - Don't stress yourself over matters that don't affect you.
2. Be alms giving : The more you give , the more the Lord will give you. Even if you are not religious, being a good samaritan will make you feel better to see others happy.
3. Stay away from Toxic friends: They keep their life priorities over you. Friends who encourage you are friends worth your while. 
4. Listen to Music : This is known to be the best stress reliever. My favorite music genre is Ghazal (Ghazal: an poetic and musical form of expressing your feelings of love and life).
5. Don't wait for the right time: In life, there is no right time. If we wait to do what we want, we will miss out on it because time flies.
6. Pamper Yourself : We all work hard to keep others happy. It is important to take care of yourself. Do Mani/Pedi , go for spa, do gardening, have a bubble bath. You will feel rejuvenated. In fact, set an alarm or mark calendar. Remember this means no attending phone calls unless it is most absolutely necessary. 
7. Don't take religion black and white: Every religion has good and bad parts. Even if you take it, it is best to keep our opinions to ourselves. World has changed a lot and extremists exist everywhere and we don't want to be them. Spread the religion of love and peace.   
8.   Trust your instincts- They don't lie. Sometimes you won't like what it is saying but it is going to worth your while if you do.
9.  Follow your Passion: It is the voice of your heart, mind and soul. It is the fire inside you that needs to be ignited by you.
10. Be Calm:  When things go haywire, we get scared or frustrated. We can't think clearly and make hasty decisions. We get stressed out. Be calm and think what can be done to resolve. 
11. Changes happen and it's hard on us: Changes happen. It is a part of nature. It throws a curve ball at us. It is ok. Things will get better and you will get used to it. You have your friends and family to guide you through it. 
12. Learn new things. It is fun, adds to your character and helps you along the way when time asks for it. 
13. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger: We have been through a lot and we survived. We will continue surviving because life is kind enough to help us with that.
14.  Don't Judge People: Don't judge people We all have different lifestyles, different perspectives on how we should live, different goals, different priorities. We can't live our life based on what society thinks so we can't expect others to live life based on what works for us. 
15. Don't Fight in front of children: When parents are angry, kids get scared or take what they see for face value. When adults fight, they shouldn't also take it out on the kids. Kids end up suffering through no fault of their own. In life, we fight with our friends, family , relatives but that is your battle with them not with their kids. During tough times, kids have the hardest times so be kind to them. 
16. Be Happy: Life has so much to offer. There will be people we may personally detest or people who we worry about. There are multiple perspectives on how life can be viewed but keep your opinion positive. 

Advise from Big Sister !

Advise from Big Sister

How to tackle negativity:

People come and go in our lives and there are in them people who are always what we call "complaint box". They poison your mind with their pessimistic perspectives and they think they are being 'realistic'. There is a fine line between being realistic and pessimistic. We have to know where to draw the line. Pessimistic people are simply toxic and last thing we need in our life is someone to make us feel worse about it. Relax! Don't worry about those people. If they approach you , you can either act like you are listening or tell them that life has a lot to offer and you appreciate where it has gotten you so far. 

We are your second moms : 

We have maternal instincts. We KNOW when you are sad or happy. You can share with us. We are here to advise you without judging you. Just remember if someone hurts you, we turn into "mama lions". We don't show that all the time but we are observing. We are observing a lot and we react if need be. We will be proud of you and at the same time force you to swallow your pride before you hurt yourself. 

Fight battles worth Fighting: 

In all honesty, this is the hardest lesson to learn. We all often end up fighting over things that can be resolved by compromise or just contemplating. 

How to select friends CAREFULLY: 

Women are like surveillance camera. Always watching and observing . They keep their guard up till they find someone worth their time. Not all but large fraction are very protective of themselves. Big sisters comprise of all these characteristics but that doesn't guarantee that we are perfect. We also make mistakes judging people and that teaches our little siblings on whom to and whom to not make friends with. It is okay to have few friends who are trustworthy and loyal than 1000  fair weather acquaintances. I don't mean to get religious but even Bible mentions an excerpt on how to be selective in making friends that I learned during family prayers. 

Get away with Trouble or Avoid Parental Reprimand:

Big sisters are like shields during war between mom and dad. Either we sacrifice ourselves or we humbly ask you to listen to us so that you can avoid getting in trouble with mom and dad. We big sisters have been there and done that when it comes to mischief. We have also gotten in trouble for it.When we tell you to take our advise, we actually mean business. We don't want you to get into trouble. 

We are your Incident Response Team:

Got any issues you want to talk? Worried about getting in trouble? Are you already in trouble? We will spice it up and let mom or dad know. We are mediators and we hope to reduce the amount of conflict in the house by suggesting time out for every one at home. Adults also need time. Parents also need time out. Parents aren't wrong but that is best way to let you think about what you did and regret it later. We are the type of incident response people who try to avoid the incident in general. It may not be possible but we can try to pacify situation before the situation becomes worse. 

During my service to Everbank, I had attended a course that I suggest you all should attend: Crucial Conversation. It is a course that helps you tackle difficult situations and discussions. The coach presents scenarios and gives possible methods of resolving. Interactive exercises will help you try resolving hypothetical situations on your own. I have that course to thank. 

We keep you grounded:

We all have that moment of pride but having too much can hurt our sense of humanity. We forget where we came from. We keep you grounded so that even though internally we are very proud of what you have done, we can't let you experience hubris. Although this highly depends between siblings and types of families but I as the elder sister try my best to. I know my brother is a well-rounded person but I don't want him to hurt others and I know he wouldn't :).

Your Personal Aide:

We are your security guards, second moms, your personal chefs, your calendars [ to remind birthdays and anniversaries] , secretaries and the list goes on. We don't want to take credit for it but we just want to assure you that we are there for you rain or shine. We are never busy for our little siblings. We are trained by our parents at that. We act all busy but you need us, we are 24/7 at your service. We always put you ahead of our needs because we love having someone to take care of and be protective of.  Your achievement means a lot to us and we feel like we could hold a banner for it. Oh ya! So we are your cheerleaders too. You can count on us!

Life of a big sister can be challenging irrespective of the gender of the younger siblings but it certainly comes with its rewards. It makes us stronger and more sensible. I miss you bro!