ABOUT ME

ABOUT ME 

Hi.. I am Tanya Romy Paul. My name has always been unusual to a lot of people who have either heard Indian names or American. My mom picked my name because she liked someone's name in her school.  Romy is my dad and Paul was the name of my paternal grandfather. I am married and live in Irving, Texas with my husband Joe. I am a homemaker as of now who likes blogging in her free time. Normally homemakers are looked as jobless people but it is all about balance. We manage home while the person who is working can focus in work. People think managing home is easy but if that was the case , then everyone who is not used to doing that can just hit the road running. I am an NRI[ Non Resident Indian] who was born and raised in Jaipur, Rajasthan and lived latter part of my life in Jacksonville, Fl in the US. 

Jaipur , Rajasthan is a beautiful city and is named pink city after its walls of pink sandstone. Pink is the color of hospitality in Jaipur. This city is full of history of brave warriors and palaces. I am proud to be a part of Jaipur. I went to St. Xavier's Catholic School of which my dad is also an alumni. It is a school that is combined with church on the same area of land. You can check it out via google maps. I could go on about Jaipur and my childhood because we all cherish our childhood. I am just going to share a little glimpse here. I grew up there and studied till 5th grade. One of my teacher's husband was a musician who has met the Beatles. We were so excited and went to tell the teacher next day that we saw her husband on TV. I am a loud and proud 90s kid. I grew up listening to Backstreet boys, Michael Jackson, Destiny's Child, Falguni Pathak, Kumar Sanu and many others. 

I got into the habit of writing from 7th grade. I used to write my regular private journal but it was not till 9th grade when I actually started showing interest in writing. My high school teacher got me interested in it. He used to say the more you write, the better you get at it. Once I went to 12th grade, I enrolled in what I thought was a computer course but it turned out to be a course that worked on high school newspaper. I started writing column there. I interviewed custodians , chess champions, and many others who made a difference in school. I also wrote about health, school activities and music. It was in that class I discovered my interest in writing and I hope that you all enjoy my blogs. 

xoxo 

Tanya

Life Teaches the Best Lessons

Life Teaches The Best Lessons

1. Life Happens - Don't stress yourself over matters that don't affect you.
2. Be alms giving : The more you give , the more the Lord will give you. Even if you are not religious, being a good samaritan will make you feel better to see others happy.
3. Stay away from Toxic friends: They keep their life priorities over you. Friends who encourage you are friends worth your while. 
4. Listen to Music : This is known to be the best stress reliever. My favorite music genre is Ghazal (Ghazal: an poetic and musical form of expressing your feelings of love and life).
5. Don't wait for the right time: In life, there is no right time. If we wait to do what we want, we will miss out on it because time flies.
6. Pamper Yourself : We all work hard to keep others happy. It is important to take care of yourself. Do Mani/Pedi , go for spa, do gardening, have a bubble bath. You will feel rejuvenated. In fact, set an alarm or mark calendar. Remember this means no attending phone calls unless it is most absolutely necessary. 
7. Don't take religion black and white: Every religion has good and bad parts. Even if you take it, it is best to keep our opinions to ourselves. World has changed a lot and extremists exist everywhere and we don't want to be them. Spread the religion of love and peace.   
8.   Trust your instincts- They don't lie. Sometimes you won't like what it is saying but it is going to worth your while if you do.
9.  Follow your Passion: It is the voice of your heart, mind and soul. It is the fire inside you that needs to be ignited by you.
10. Be Calm:  When things go haywire, we get scared or frustrated. We can't think clearly and make hasty decisions. We get stressed out. Be calm and think what can be done to resolve. 
11. Changes happen and it's hard on us: Changes happen. It is a part of nature. It throws a curve ball at us. It is ok. Things will get better and you will get used to it. You have your friends and family to guide you through it. 
12. Learn new things. It is fun, adds to your character and helps you along the way when time asks for it. 
13. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger: We have been through a lot and we survived. We will continue surviving because life is kind enough to help us with that.
14.  Don't Judge People: Don't judge people We all have different lifestyles, different perspectives on how we should live, different goals, different priorities. We can't live our life based on what society thinks so we can't expect others to live life based on what works for us. 
15. Don't Fight in front of children: When parents are angry, kids get scared or take what they see for face value. When adults fight, they shouldn't also take it out on the kids. Kids end up suffering through no fault of their own. In life, we fight with our friends, family , relatives but that is your battle with them not with their kids. During tough times, kids have the hardest times so be kind to them. 
16. Be Happy: Life has so much to offer. There will be people we may personally detest or people who we worry about. There are multiple perspectives on how life can be viewed but keep your opinion positive. 

Advise from Big Sister !

Advise from Big Sister

How to tackle negativity:

People come and go in our lives and there are in them people who are always what we call "complaint box". They poison your mind with their pessimistic perspectives and they think they are being 'realistic'. There is a fine line between being realistic and pessimistic. We have to know where to draw the line. Pessimistic people are simply toxic and last thing we need in our life is someone to make us feel worse about it. Relax! Don't worry about those people. If they approach you , you can either act like you are listening or tell them that life has a lot to offer and you appreciate where it has gotten you so far. 

We are your second moms : 

We have maternal instincts. We KNOW when you are sad or happy. You can share with us. We are here to advise you without judging you. Just remember if someone hurts you, we turn into "mama lions". We don't show that all the time but we are observing. We are observing a lot and we react if need be. We will be proud of you and at the same time force you to swallow your pride before you hurt yourself. 

Fight battles worth Fighting: 

In all honesty, this is the hardest lesson to learn. We all often end up fighting over things that can be resolved by compromise or just contemplating. 

How to select friends CAREFULLY: 

Women are like surveillance camera. Always watching and observing . They keep their guard up till they find someone worth their time. Not all but large fraction are very protective of themselves. Big sisters comprise of all these characteristics but that doesn't guarantee that we are perfect. We also make mistakes judging people and that teaches our little siblings on whom to and whom to not make friends with. It is okay to have few friends who are trustworthy and loyal than 1000  fair weather acquaintances. I don't mean to get religious but even Bible mentions an excerpt on how to be selective in making friends that I learned during family prayers. 

Get away with Trouble or Avoid Parental Reprimand:

Big sisters are like shields during war between mom and dad. Either we sacrifice ourselves or we humbly ask you to listen to us so that you can avoid getting in trouble with mom and dad. We big sisters have been there and done that when it comes to mischief. We have also gotten in trouble for it.When we tell you to take our advise, we actually mean business. We don't want you to get into trouble. 

We are your Incident Response Team:

Got any issues you want to talk? Worried about getting in trouble? Are you already in trouble? We will spice it up and let mom or dad know. We are mediators and we hope to reduce the amount of conflict in the house by suggesting time out for every one at home. Adults also need time. Parents also need time out. Parents aren't wrong but that is best way to let you think about what you did and regret it later. We are the type of incident response people who try to avoid the incident in general. It may not be possible but we can try to pacify situation before the situation becomes worse. 

During my service to Everbank, I had attended a course that I suggest you all should attend: Crucial Conversation. It is a course that helps you tackle difficult situations and discussions. The coach presents scenarios and gives possible methods of resolving. Interactive exercises will help you try resolving hypothetical situations on your own. I have that course to thank. 

We keep you grounded:

We all have that moment of pride but having too much can hurt our sense of humanity. We forget where we came from. We keep you grounded so that even though internally we are very proud of what you have done, we can't let you experience hubris. Although this highly depends between siblings and types of families but I as the elder sister try my best to. I know my brother is a well-rounded person but I don't want him to hurt others and I know he wouldn't :).

Your Personal Aide:

We are your security guards, second moms, your personal chefs, your calendars [ to remind birthdays and anniversaries] , secretaries and the list goes on. We don't want to take credit for it but we just want to assure you that we are there for you rain or shine. We are never busy for our little siblings. We are trained by our parents at that. We act all busy but you need us, we are 24/7 at your service. We always put you ahead of our needs because we love having someone to take care of and be protective of.  Your achievement means a lot to us and we feel like we could hold a banner for it. Oh ya! So we are your cheerleaders too. You can count on us!

Life of a big sister can be challenging irrespective of the gender of the younger siblings but it certainly comes with its rewards. It makes us stronger and more sensible. I miss you bro! 

  

26 Things I learned ..

26 Things I learned At Age 26

1. Embrace Yourself: Learn to embrace who you are. What you are made of . Appreciate your personality , what you feel about things, your values, your disciplines, your roots. Don't feel sorry for yourself. No need to let people believe you are in a vulnerable state. Not everyone has your best interest in their mind and will make you feel bad about it. Imitation is suicide. If people say you have changed, well you did. You are a grown person, adult , working and living and contributing to the community and your views have changed based on influences of people living around you. Nothing to be sorry for. Just be yourself and true people will love you for it.
2. People change. Live with it. You can't do anything about it. You are not the same person you were as a kid then you can't expect others to do so either. Times and situations cause people to change and that's OK. That's part of nature and it's in our best interest to deal with it. The best friend you had as a kid may be not in your wavelength of thinking as time goes so you will make new friends. 
3. You are the not center of the universe. You can't expect everyone to move their schedule according to yours. Stop changing things at the last minute. If people can't make it, they can't. We all have different schedules, different priorities in life. 
4. Stop worrying about what people think. People think lots of things. We can't stop them from thinking. If they are mean to you or play dirty games, they will pay for it eventually. Just worry about yourself . If you live according to what people think, you will be just living their life or living a lie. 
5. You should have 5 friends with 5 different personalities. Why? Because you will get different perspective of living your life from them. You may not agree with them but at least you are prepared to tackle situations with people who think that way.You will also enjoy life more because there will always be one friend who wants to tell you the harsh truth, agony aunty/uncle, friend who makes you smile when you are not up for it, the mom friend [ they make soup when you are sick], the tomboy friend who tells you how guys are because they think they are a "dude".
6. Learn to understand implied feelings - People do what they do for a reason. They say what they say for a reason. Don't attack people about it. They may be in a vulnerable situation or not comfortable to say so they use other methods to tell you what they feel.I have met people who just say things not realizing what they have made other people feel. 
7. Be there for people. Be reliable: Lend a hand. Volunteer in soup kitchen. Be an advisor. Be resourceful but just know who's worth your time. 
8. Be true to yourself. Stop saying what you don't really mean.You will not feel good later. If you are not comfortable being honest, don't say anything. 
9. Date yourself: Take yourself out to dinner. Nothing weird about it. In this century if people have problems with you eating alone, they are in wrong century. It's ok. Just get a glass of wine and do what you enjoy doing by yourself . 
10. Love someone? Tell them. It is a beautiful feeling.I know it's a hard and there is a fear of rejection. Take it slow but tell them. They will appreciate it if you are honest about it. It is part of life and it is not a crime. If it is meant to be, it will work out. If not today, you would end up meeting tomorrow in some random town in the middle of nowhere and you will have to face the truth and tell them the truth that you love them.  
11. Be Brave. It's the hardest thing to do but it's the smartest and proudest thing to do. When you are brave, people will personally wish they were you or had the same courage you have. Being brave doesn't mean you have to be the descendant of some warrior but if you care enough to risk your life, that's enough to be a hero to someone even though you don't anticipate to be. 
12. Don't believe rumors.Rumors aren't true. They are always from people who wish they were you or someone they envy. Don't spread any either. Once the word is out, it's out. You can't put the toothpaste back into the tube and same logic works with rumors. You can't take back what you said
13. Spend your money carefully Just because you are rich doesn't mean throw it off to anything. Buy things that have class and are durable. Such kind of people are hard to find. I don't mean don't spend it at all or spend on meaningless things just to save money. Just spend where you KNOW it's worth the money.
14. Stop giving strangers unsolicited advice: Everyone has a different life. Not everyone cares about your advise and not everyone is mature enough to filter out what's not needed and take what works for them. Just stay on guard.
15. Don't follow trends. Apparently people think that what's in is what works for them. We all have different personalities and different tastes. If not following trend makes you ostracized, I rather be ostracized and be myself than follow the trend like a robot.
16. Devil Wears Prada: Some people have lives like the movie Devil Wears Prada where boss makes them feel bad. Boss doesn't know who you are and you could have their job some day .. You are surviving a battle and being a champion at it.. and there are ample amount of people who got your back. 
17. People come and go. Those who matter will stay . Don't get worked up about these things. These are just things to increase blood pressure, anger, anxiety and feelings of disgust. Those are stay with you for life and fight for living with you are your true loves. They will understand you, support you, and hit you across your head to remind you to get real. 
18. Don't cling to your past - Don't cling to your past. In life we all go through situations and meet different people and I say they served their purpose and left. Emotional grudges just ruin relationships. You aren't required to be friends with them but just keep a professional level relationship with them. Who knows when you have to work with them in your life.
19. You can't keep everyone happy -  You can't make everyone happy. Just do what you are here to do. Everyone has their purpose in life. 
20. Flourish your talent - Don't let your talents die out. Keep it going. It's a gift and it's should be used to the best of its ability. 
21. Dress Classy - cut with the nonsense of funkiness. You are an adult now and I understand the need to dress like a high school kid but you are in the real world now and people watch how you carry yourself and people show a lot of respect for people who dress properly without their properties hanging out. 
22. Respect all vocations - Your dignity and status won't go down if you respect your janitor in your hallway. It only will increase your value. \
23. Record Your Life - Write down your feelings. People who write down their feelings unload their worries and also have memories. 
24. Don't Compare yourself to others - You are best at being you. Moreover, life is not what people post on instagram. You wish you were enjoying a trip at Grand Canyon with your friend but you don't know other things your friend is doing or going through in life.
25. Don't underestimate your enemy and never share your strategies with your enemy - Ya own it buddy!  we all have those people we can't stand or are just toxic for our lives. They just hurt us and I am not saying take revenge. I am saying keep your communication with them to a minimum but also don't forget what the Godfather said -" keep friends close but enemies closer" . Don't underestimate what your enemies can do but also keep an eye on their strategies so you also know how to stand up to their actions. 
26. Don't set life plans based on your age - we are slaves to our situations. We can't plan things like when we marry, when we have kids, when we will retire. These things are part of life and will come when they have to and let them come as they do. If we get worried over things like this, we are also facing disappointment because it didn't happen as we thought. Life will throw lemons at us and we have to learn to catch and make lemonade out of it.